Smetana

One bride for sale or exchange

I would like to open with the admission that I once impressed the hell out of my music history professor because not only had I heard of Dvorak, I knew who Smetana was. To paraphrase the man who has practically become the Ain’t Baroque mascot, Eddie Izzard: two Czech composers in one head? No one can live at that speed! I really should have gone to a different college.

If you, too, have a bride for sale or exchange, perhaps you might consider this week’s BSO concert. Officially it’s called “Brahms’ Second Symphony,” but who cares* about the little b (b minor?)? Smetana’s The Bartered Bride is the thing to hear, although I wouldn’t discourage your ears from taking in Bruch’s second violin concerto; I’m fond of it myself.

I’m also extremely fond of Vienna — it was my favorite part of my trip through Germany and Austria way back in 2004 — and it just so happens that the conductor’s podium will be occupied by Cornelius Meister, Chief Conductor and Artistic Director of the Vienna Radio Symphony Orchestra. In a word: yes.

Concerts are on Thursday, April 28 at 8 pm (Wine Night!) and Friday, April 29 at 8 pm at the Meyerhoff, and then one at Strathmore at 8 pm on Saturday, April 30. If you see a little old man wearing an awesome patterned bow tie, you should tell him all about your knowledge of Czech composers.

* Rhetorical question.

Adventures in hashtaggery

Yesterday evening I made an amazing discovery by way of the lovely @NaxosUSA: the Twitter hashtag #budgetclassical. These tweets are all terrible puns and mockery of classical music titles as they might have been had they been composed on the cheap. Since I spent something like two hours addicted to making and reading these, I’m tossing out the usual LOL Friday image format to bring you all the ones I made up myself. The hashtag is still happening; read ’em here and submit your own! (And when you do, make sure you add @aintbaroque so I can see.)

And now, in reverse posting order, one of my greatest strengths: horrible, horrible puns!

1. Dies Felinae
2. Flesh Wound on Tenth Avenue
3. The Ambivalent Widow
4. Transgendered Night
5. Stars and Stripes for a Pretty Long Time
6. Serenade for String
7. Escape from the Questionable Massage Parlor
8. The Wiccans’ Sabbath
9. About Halfway Down the Steps of Central Asia
10. March to the Lethal Injection from Symphonie Just Okay
11. West Side Tweet
12. Nopetha
13. Music for the Sparklers in the Backyard
14. Rhapsody in Teal
15. What the Wildflowers Refuse to Tell Me
16. Doctor Subatomic
17. Saunter of the Valkyries
18. The Beggar’s Opera (oh, wait…)
19. Snapping Music
20. Haydn’s Very Little Warning Symphony
21. Three Little Swans and a Duck
22. Tchaikovsky’s Symphony No. 2: the “Embryonic Russian”
23. Ives’ Chuck Rutlage
24. Khachaturian’s Shuffle of the Rose Maidens
25. Saint-Saen’s Petting Zoo of the Animals
26. Mendelssohn’s Sicilian Symphony
27. The Love for Three Clementines
28. Polevtsian Marking the Steps
29. Crash Landing of the Bumblebee
30. Officer Cadet Kije
31. Thus Whispered Zarathrustra
32. Pete & Pete Grimes
33. The Civil Ceremony of Figaro
34. Pavane for a Princess Who’s Feeling Under the Weather
35. Madama Caterpillar
36. 4’33” of White Noise
37. Smetana’s The Loaned-Out Bride
38. Mozart’s The Regular Old Flute
39. Appalachian Puddle
40. The Bach Single
41. The Brandenburg Concerto
42. Gilbert and Sullivan present Lady-in-Waiting Ida
43. Die Maus
44. Die Bieberflote

Wow, I had no idea I did so many. I don’t know whether to be proud or ashamed.