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This tag is associated with 19 posts

Takin’ care of business


Apologies for the lateness of the post, and for the change of plans. I was going to do one more music gift post, but my internet was down this morning and now I’m at work where they expect me — prepare for some crazy talk here — to work. So I’m throwing a viola joke at you and running. Sorry! Music gift post tomorrow; it’s a book, so you’ll have time to get your hands on it.

Q. A conductor and a violist are standing in the middle of the road. Who should you run over first? Continue reading

Enter and sign in, please

Mr. Ozawa is self-employed and deals in a service.

Also, it’s weird to see him on TV without penguins.

Ha! I know this joke!

funny puns - An Excellent Conductor
see more So Much Pun

He’d need a very tall podium

funny pictures - Conductah Kitteh  lubs de Beeg Cweshendo!
see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

Some people just don’t have good peripheral vision

A conductor became deathly sick one night just a few hours before a big concert. The orchestra needed a substitute, fast — and the only person willing to step in was the last chair violist. He conducted the concert, and it was a massive critical success. The next day the conductor was STILL sick, so the violist conducted again with the same smashing results. By the next concert, however, the conductor had recovered. He retook his place at the podium, and the violist went back to his seat. As he sat down, his stand partner glanced over and said,

Continue reading

I propose that all conductors now indicate dynamic changes by twisting an invisible volume knob

And now… the world’s most responsive brass ensemble!

Mr. Bean: the envy of conductors everywhere.

In which it is proven that one can be simultaneously the best and the worst

Hey, remember my post on Wii Music? Well, this is what that sucker can do!

Jealous? Says someone in the comments, “In other words they’re the best orchestra ever; they can fully follow the conducting.” Chilling thought, eh, conductors?

The Mad Conductor

And now, as a rebuttal to Mr. Rowan Atkinson, Mr. Peter Davison (you may know him as the Fifth Doctor).

(All Creatures Great and Small is the BEST! Straight out of the first book, that was!)

Remember how I said I conduct like I’m having a grand mal seizure?


I would love to tell you all about the BSO’s performance in the U. S. premiere of Rautavaara’s Incantations last Thursday. Unfortunately, I was so distracted by Lintu’s antics I barely noticed. The man conducts like one of those puppets jointed with strings that when you press the base they collapse. At several points he was conducting with naught but fingers bent into an eagle’s claw. The man is a nutter butter.

I liked his Finlandia, though. And he did the first and third movements of my beloved Beethoven’s Symphony No. 7 well. The holy second movement was a smidge speedy and disjointed, but had settled into greater smoothness by the end. I kept my eyes closed the whole time. Perfect music for rain.

The fourth movement, though. Lord, the fourth movement. I wish I could hum it to you twice – once at the speed I am accustomed to and enjoy (conducted by Berstein, so you know it’s good), and once Lintu-style. Let’s see if onomatopoeia can do this thing justice:

Bernstein: DUH duh duh duh duh duh duh DUH duh duh duh duh duh duh DUH duh duh duh duh duh duh DUH DAH DAH!

Lintu: DUHdhdhdhdhdhdhDUHdhdhdhdhdhdhdhDUHdhdhdhdhdhdhdhDAHDAH

In other words: SLOW DOWN, dude. Take a breath now and again. I know it’s allegro con brio but that’s not the same as presto et mort. Chill. To reiterate what is becoming a motif of this blog, fast is not necessarily equal to good!

In other news, Colin Currie actually appears to be the same age as his promotional pictures, which is a novelty indeed.