To review!
ROUND 1
1. Williams vs. Goldsmith
2. Delibes vs. Respighi
3. Vivaldi vs. Schubert
4. Puccini vs. Sullivan
5. Barber vs. Ives
6. Vaughan Williams vs. Hindemith
7. Reich vs. Cage
8. Boulez vs. Webern
ROUND 2
1. Webern vs. Hindemith
2. Cage vs. Williams
3. Respighi vs. Puccini
4. Schubert vs. Ives
ROUND 3
1. Hindemith vs. Williams
2. Schubert vs. Respighi
ROUND 4
1. Hindemith vs. Schubert
Italics denote winner
And now, prepare to be truly shocked and amazed, because the winner is…
Nature continues to operate under normal parameters, it seems. Continuing the theme of Not Surprised, allow me to report the Schubert beat Respighi. NO! But actually, Ottorino, good show; and man who can garner ANY votes in the face of Franz can hold his head up high.
And now… we come to… THE FINAL ROUND. Ladies and gentlemen…
In this corner, he’s got a C string and he isn’t afraid to use it! It’s
PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUL HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINDEEEEEEEEEEEMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITH
And in this corner, what he can’t do with a trout! It’s
FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANZ SCHUUUUUUUUUUUUBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERT
I understand some of you might actual struggle with this one. Innnnnteresting. Now remember: it’s not who’s the objectively better composer. It all comes down to the guy you LOVE.
JUST KIDDING. Apparently we’re fresh out of surprises ’round these here blogging parts. John Williams never stood a chance against Hindemith, who took the match with ease. And that is the right and proper order of things. Clearly.
So we can turn away from that fight with light hearts, only to get them all bogged down again with another age old question (except maybe not really, assuming we really are fresh out of surprises). Regardless, in this corner, he has nothing bad to say about Ives because really, good show, mein Herr! And really, if anyone can afford to be generous it’s
FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANZ SCHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERT
And in this corner, he put the rah rah rah in opera! It’s
OOOOOOOTTOOOOOOOORIIIIIIINOOOOOOO REEEEEESPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
No, but actually, I like surprises. I do.
WOW. What an exciting match! I don’t know if you saw, but for the longest time Ives was winning. Over SCHUBERT. Isn’t that crazy? I mean, Franz pulled it out in the end, but I wasn’t sure anyone could go toe to toe with him. Let’s hear it for one hell of a competitor in Ives!
And so we move on to round three, because in this corner, it’s the violist with the mostest,
PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUL HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINDEEEEEEEEEEEEEMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITH
And in this corner, modernists? What modernists? It’s
JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHN WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMS
Normally I would say this should be an easy decision, but what with the whole Schubert-Ives thing I don’t even know anymore.
So… you guys aren’t into the Italian fashion, I take it? I mean, Respighi barely even bothered to take down Puccini. That was a cat-smacks-doped-up-mouse-and-goes-back-to-napping match if every there was one. But results are results, and Respighi heads off to round three.
Which is coming up shortly, because it’s time for the final match of round 2! And so in this corner, he mastered the seasons! It’s
FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANZ SCHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERT
And in this corner, he keeps his tempos quick! It’s
CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAARLEEEEEEEEEEEEEES IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES
I trust this will be interesting…
Um… what?
No, seriously. What?
I am whatting because in the last match you chose John Williams over John Cage. I mean, Cage’s stuff can be wonky, sure, but… what?
Oh well. I’m sure the whims of the public are a mysterious thing indeed. No matter; we shall put it behind us and head to more exotic climes. Specifically Italy, because in this corner, he hasn’t got time for dolls! It’s
OTTOOOOOOOOOORIIIIIIIIIIIINOOOOOOOOOOO RESPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
And in this corner, he hasn’t got time for modern major generals! It’s
GIAAAAAAAAAAAAACOOOOOOOOMOOOOOOOO PUUUUUUCCIIIIIIIIIIIIINIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Mm, spaghetti.
So… you guys really like Hindemith, eh? I mean, Webern was fresh off a solid victory. He had tasted blood once before. And yet Hindemith cheerfully trounced him. Very, very interesting, you guys. I shall note it in the logs.
Now let’s head back to the homeland with an All-American match, because in this corner, he never gave Reich a chance! It’s
JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHN CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE
And in this corner, he made Jerry Goldsmith phone home! It’s
JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHN WILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMS
Oh my God, guys, it’s a John Fight! I didn’t even consciously plan that!
Well. I don’t know if there’s a general prejudice against composers who are still alive or what, but they don’t seem to be doing very well. First you let Steve Reich go down, and then you voted Webern in waaay ahead of Boulez. Interesting.
So congratulations, Webern, but don’t get to comfy – you’re going right back into the ring! And so in this corner, he puts the “ton” in Anton! It’s
ANNNNNNNNNNTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN
And in this corner, he doesn’t let being a violist stop him! It’s
PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUL HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITH
They’re both dead, so this might be a little harder for you.
Well. That was scarcely the challenge I rather expected. The general weirdness of Cage evidently resonates with many of you, as he took Reich down rather handily. No applause out of respect, please.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, the final match of round one. You thought Cage vs. Reich was weird? Ha! Hold on to your hats and glasses, because in this corner, he doesn’t need a hammer! It’s
PIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRE BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUULEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ
And in this corner, he was denounced by the Nazis so he has to be good! It’s
ANNNNNNNNNNNNNTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERN
I thought this match might be interesting because they are both considered great innovators – and Boulez was born the same year Webern died (whoops, got that wrong; Boulez was born in 1925. Stupid misreading things!). They are progressives in their respective times; how progressive are you?
Good morning, campers! It is finally nice and warm outside, which is significantly improving my outlook on life and subsequently allowing me to forgive you for letting Hindemith best Vaughan Williams even though the latter was holding a cat and therefore clearly should have won. Sheesh. I can’t believe you guys didn’t pick up on that. But ah well; let bygones be bygones. Let’s try this again, shall we?
Maybe you thought the last match was pretty darn modern. Well, b-b-b-baby, you ain’t seen nothing yet, because in this corner, clap your hands! It’s
STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEICH
And in this corner, SHHHHHH. It’s
JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHN CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE
Let’s see. John Cage is a legend of weirdness, with his moments of silence and his crazy dance scores and his chance music. Then you’ve got Steve Reich, was his minimalism and his clapping and his pendulums and my God is there a lot of innovation of up in this match!
And so, Ain’t Baroccos, I ask you: of these two composers who were/are alive in your lifetime, who do you love?