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SHAKESPEARED!

And now it is time once again for that most glorious of holidays, National Letdown Day, otherwise known as my birthday. Here’s a bunch of happy birthday variations based on different composers:

And here’s a video that I feel like posting because I can.

Okay, kids – be good, have a nice holiday week, and I’ll see you in the new year. Now go forth and conquer!

In which the king of kings shows up out of nowhere

Oh, hey! It’s Christmas Eve, and you know what that means – trained vocalists could converge upon you and start belting out Handel AT ANY MOMENT. Be ready!

Incidentally, I’ll be taking tomorrow off, but don’t forget to stop by on Wednesday to help me celebrate National Letdown Day. Merry Christmas to everybody who celebrates it, and Merry Random Day Off to everyone else!

Making up for lost Christmastime

Our schedule got wonky this week and there was no Monday video, plus the week before that I was off and my own, internal schedule got wonky and there was no Monday video. So, to make it up to you, here’s a Not Monday video. Presenting: My Favorite Nutcracker. Take it, Mikhail B!

Well, at least with the viola it’s easier to breathe

Q. What’s the difference between a viola and a chainsaw? Continue reading →

The Concert Roundupcracker

• ‘Tis the season for yet more of Tchaikovsky‘s The Nutcracker! The Baltimore Symphony Orchestra unites with dancers at the Baltimore School for the Arts to bring you a full production of the classic and dare I say mandatory holiday ballet. December 21 &22 at the Lyric (which is right down the street from the Meyerhoff). [ See it! ]
• Speaking of classic and dare I say mandatory holiday things, this week’s National Symphony Orchestra offering is Handel‘s Messiah oratorio. December 20 – 23. [ See it! ]
• This week at Strathmore: TONS of holiday productions, although only some classic and dare I say mandatory. The Washington Chorus has a Christmas production; Charm City Klezmer keeps the Hannukah magic going, gypsy jazz versions of holiday favorites, and, yes, the National Philharmonic busts out two more Messiahs. [ See the calendar! ]

If you’d like your concert included in next week’s roundup, leave a comment or drop me a line.

Music gifts: For those who heard Mozart before he was big

We interrupt your regularly scheduled LOL Friday/Monday Video/Tuesday Whatever The Hell I Want to bring you three more music gifts while there’s still time to get them delivered by Christmas. After that I will resume posting my usual ridiculousness, as opposed to this unusual ridiculousness.

It’s your last music gift suggestion for the year, guys! And it’s a good one, if I do say so myself – suitable for a wide variety of people and a wide variety of genders. Not even my anti-Mozart stance can keep me from sharing this with you:

Mozart for one night only, guys! Quick, hop in your time machine and make a beeline for 1786! Then we can ALL say we knew about Mozart before he was cool. The concert tee print comes as either a t-shirt or a hoody over at Threadless, and it looks like they’re having a sale today, so I’d hurry if I were you. The perfect gift for… just about anyone who likes classical music, really!

Can’t overcome your dislike of Mozart? It looks like the Chopin and musical typewriter shirts from last year are still available.

If that’s not punny enough for you, the Ain’t Baroque store has you covered – t-shirts to inform people they can’t see you ’cause you’re Haydn, that you’ve got to go but you’re Offenbach, and more; plus stickers, mugs, etc. etc. Check it out!

Music gifts: For more musical dinner parties

We interrupt your regularly scheduled LOL Friday/Monday Video/Tuesday Whatever The Hell I Want to bring you three more music gifts while there’s still time to get them delivered by Christmas. After that I will resume posting my usual ridiculousness, as opposed to this unusual ridiculousness.

Okay, I admit it; the theremin I suggested last week was a little expensive. I can make it up to you now, I promise:

Musical wine glasses! And at $65 for what appears to be two wine glasses, it’s a LOT cheaper than the theremin, although admittedly kinda expensive for wine glasses. But look, these wine glasses are special – they’re musical!

Along the side they’ve helpfully printed note markers, so if you want to tink your fork against you glass and hear a D natural, you simply fill the glass to the D natural marker and go to TOWN on that boy. Line up a couple and recreate that scene from Miss Congeniality! Find them at Firebox.

Still not cost-effective enough for you? Not a problem – check out the Ain’t Baroque store, fine purveyor of Beethoven stickers (you did notice that it was his birthday yesterday, right?), terrible music puns, and Russian composer cows.

Music gifts: A music box by YOU

We interrupt your regularly scheduled LOL Friday/Monday Video/Tuesday Whatever The Hell I Want to bring you three more music gifts while there’s still time to get them delivered by Christmas. After that I will resume posting my usual ridiculousness, as opposed to this unusual ridiculousness.

Calling all composers and people who are part of a couple that have Our Song! This music gift is for you:

I know, it looks like a boring ol’ make-your-own-music-box kit. And if you want to just slap the included “Happy Birthday” sheet inside and call it a day, you can do that. BUT! It also comes with three blank sheets and a hole punch, so you can punch your own music!

Got your own personal composition? Include it. Want a music box that plays some of the more twelve-tone-y Schoenberg? You can have that too! Your giftee can hear any work your little heart desires; or leave it blank and let them create their own. And you even have the option to purchase a refill pack if you want to punch more pieces. The kit itself runs you $14.99 at ThinkGeek, with $4.99 for the refill packs.

Looking for something a little less labor-intensive? Why not investigate the Ain’t Baroque store? Trust me, you’ve never seen so many music-related puns and insults to violists in your entire life.

EN GARDE!

Q. What do you call two violists playing the same piece at the same time? Continue reading →

Concert Roundup IS Holiday Pops

I swear I’m not really this cynical; I LOVE the holiday season! But it makes me giggle, the way the concerts all seem to match up at the same time. 🙂

• You’re going to be so super-incredibly surprised when I tell you what the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra concert is about this week! Why, it’s a Holiday Pops performance! NO! This one promised carols, handbells, and Santa Claus, so if those are your collective bag, you better grab some tickets. Don’t worry, there are plenty of opportunities: December 12 at Strathmore; December 13, 14, 15 & 16 at the Meyerhoff. There’s even a ticketed post-concert reception after the second show on December 14 if that would interest you. [ See it! ] [ Reception! ]
• Ooh! Ooh! And! You’ll never guess what this week’s National Symphony Orchestra concert is about! Why, it’s Happy Holiday Pops! This one promises carols and Santa Claus but no handbells (which is not to say that there won’t be any, they just didn’t promise them), although if I’m reading the description properly maybe there’ll be snow? Nifty! December 13 – 16. [ See it! ]
• This week at Strathmore: fiddler Mark O’Connor, klezmer, Mannheim Steamroller, a production of The Nutcracker, jazz holiday music; really just a ton of seasonal stuff. Check it out [ See the calendar! ]

If you’d like your concert included in next week’s roundup, leave a comment or drop me a line.